I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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