What a fucking waste of an outfit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
