Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
