margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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