try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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