I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
