Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
only if we run a train.
done.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
