So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
