I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Nicole vs. Life
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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