dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
