Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
