...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
