Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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