Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
