Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
NoShamevember. You game?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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