Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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