This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
