they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
