So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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