this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
