I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
