great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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