That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
