can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
