I'm going to jail i love you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
