.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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