Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
