i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
