Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
being pregnant is like rehab
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Two words: blizzard sex
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
