Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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