i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
