Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
