i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
