So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
