And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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