Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
