I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
