now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's like heaven, but drunker
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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