Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Damn victory sex feels great
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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