woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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