No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize