Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
