I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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