I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
