SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
