you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
