; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
