I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
True college students do jello shots in the library
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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