Your mouth is God's brothel.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
