the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Randomize
