Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
