Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize