We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
