Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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