Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
