I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize